Comfortably Numb
by mirzidicsi
Summary: "She was born and raised in Lima, Ohio, just like he was; with the little difference that she was famous and her face was all over the place and he was, well, her husband's bodyguard. Finn is not the kind of guy who gets scared easily. Damn, he's not the kind of guy who feels anything easily. But he looks at her and he just knows: this woman is trouble." AU
1. Trouble

**So, a few weeks ago i found a gifset about "Bodyguard Finn" and then i saw this Brazilian music video and i just had to write this. So i'm sorry if it seems to someone like i'm stealing your idea or something, i just took it from a music video, and i didn't mean to steal anything, lol, i can't even make gifs, i just saw it and you know. that's it.**  
**And I just took the "bodyguard" figure, nothing else, i swear!**  
**I hope you like it, though :)**

* * *

6:30 A.M. The phone rings.  
Fuck, he has never been a morning person.

"Yes?" He asks, trying to sound awake, but failing big time.  
"Hudson, change of plans, you have a client. Be here in an hour." That said, Santana just hangs up the phone. It's his week off, you know, but what the hell.

He showers, takes a quick breakfast and at exactly 7:30 A.M he and his best friend Puck are at the boss's office, ready for duty.

"Morning, my little sunshines." The boss says sarcastically. They don't answer, they know her too well to know she never waits for answers to that kind of comment, so they just take a seat and wait for the rain to fall, as usual; it takes a while this time, but she finally decides to speak. "So, this is what you'd call our 'Top client'. He's _very important_ and he pays a _lot_ of money for our full security services, witch include us to have a car outside of his house 24/7, two guys at the gate, and other two walking around the yard." Then she pauses and walks to the window "His name is Brody Weston and he's a _business_ man, he's married to Rachel Berry, the Broadway actress..."

"I've heard of her, she's from Lima, like us." Puck interrupts, to what Finn just nods silently. "I though Trouty mouth and Chang were there covering the yard."

"They _were_. Now _you_ are." She says coldly, turning to stare at them intensely. "You start today at 8:30 A.M. You'll meet the guys there for the change, and you'll introduce yourselves to Weston. Here are the details of the perimeter and some stuff the team found important. Study it."

She hands them two identical files with all sorts of important data, some maps and information about the perimeter and the cameras. That's not what calls his attention, though. Something's different with the way Santana's taking this job, there's a weird cloud in her eyes and she's more silent than ever. And, you know, Santana Lopez (best known as _Satan_), is _never_ silent; She's always judging, she's _always_ the boss. So he meets her gaze as the clock ticks loudly, trying to figure out what's going on, but Satan's eyes are not easy to read.

"What's the catch?" He finally asks. The brunette shares a whimsical smirk as she walks around her desk, to finally sit on the table, right it in front of them "Why did _they_ quit?" He continues.

She grins "You know, Frankie, Mohak, this company is _not _going trough the best times..." She says, crossing her legs teasingly

"We know." Puck answers, eyes stuck in the boss's long legs.

"Weston is _very _important to us; Without him, this company falls, and we all fall with it." She changes her leg again "We can't let that happen, can we?." She pauses to take a deep breath" So, that said, there are _two_ issues concerning this guy. First: he has enemies, you know, he has _a lot _of enemies. Chang and Evans will fill you up on the spies issues that Weston has. You must be on alert at all times while you're on duty. " She points at the files

"Is he on the mop or something?" His friend questions with a grin, and Finn knows that, deep inside, Puck kind of wants the answer to be a big, fat _'Yes',_ because Noah Puckerman is just the kind of guy who happens to enjoy danger.

Sadly, the answer is "No, he's not" And Puck's smile goes away "..._but_ the guy's got dirty competition. Now, second and most important of all..." Santana's eyes turn weird again as she pauses to release a sigh "You.. are _not_ gonna officially report anything you hear from _inside the house_. You are deaf. You-are-_deaf _and you're _blind_, Is that understood?"

And suddenly he just knows: something is _very_ wrong with this, he can smell it, feel it in the air; But what is it?.

He's been a bodyguard for Santana's company for years now but he had never seen the warning alarm so bright in her eyes, and you must know Finn is not the kind of guy who gets scared easily. Damn, he's not the kind of guy who feels _anything_ easily, but this is, somehow, different. And he doesn't like it.

"Hudson? Is that understood?" She asks, taking him out of his thoughts.

He rises his right eyebrow , decided to insist "I don't know. Why did they quit?" He's staring into her eyes know, challenging her "Why, Santana? Is there something you're not telling us?"

He sinks into her eyes for a while, feeling the tension, but knowing that there's not much he's gonna get out of her. "You'll figure it out sooner than you'd like to, believe me." She answers in a low voice, never escaping his eyes. "The truth is that we are skipping some rules with Weston, and you must know that. We're skipping _important_ rules concerning the ethical codes of this company" She stares and Puck this time "...because this guy _IS_ the company, and, honestly, if you can't follow the easy instruction of not giving _a shit_ about what happens inside of that house, then you're out, and that's the deal. What do you say? Can you do that?" She's not begging, she'd _never_ beg. It's more than that, she's challenging them.

Puck and Finn stare at each other, and then grin at the same time.

Of course they'll accept.

* * *

It's not a house, it's a mansion, and it's the _biggest_ one in the fancy neighborhood. He and Puck stare at it for a while. This is gonna be hard stuff, they think.

Beiste and Karofsky, the ones in charge of the gate, opened it for them to park somewhere near the entrance, where they held a reunion with the team about the changes that were about to be made.  
There was Tina and Artie, the ones in charge of the undercover car that was parked outside of the mansion. Karofsky and Beiste, and there were Mike and Sam too, not in their uniforms anymore.  
The conversation it's short and very efficient, so they finally break it up to go back to their work places.

"Sam." Finn calls, the blonde guy turns around "Come, I need to talk to you."

"Sure." He answers calmly, even though he knows what's coming.

"There's..."

"Santana didn't tell you, did she?" Sam interrupted quickly, with a small grin in his face, but staring at the floor

"No."

He notices the same cloud in Sam's eyes that he saw in his Boss's. This is getting into his nerves and he _needs_ to know the big stupid secret before he starts letting his imagination flow, and we all know, that's _never_ good.

"What is it?" He insist in a whisper, then he lays his hand in Sam's shoulder and squeezes it a little, showing him that he can be trusted.

In exchange, the blonde guy only says "You'll figure it out, man. I can't talk about it." And leaves, hands in his pockets and eyes on the floor.

_"__I can't talk about it"_ Finn repeats to himself. "Damn, I don't like this."

* * *

Weston is the kind of guy who has a strong handshake and a big _"__I'm a winner and you're not"_ smile most of the time. He does everything he wants, just because he can, and he never apologizes.  
Finn knows this because he enjoys the silent art of _reading_ people, and he can read in his new client some stuff he's not very comfortable with. But yeah, he have worked with all kinds of clients and he knows how to deal with weird personalities and capital assholes: _"__Just keep your mouth shut"_ Is the motto to a life without problems in this job, he thinks.

Or at least it is _most_ of the time.

Weston keeps on going about how everything works, about privacy, about himself, himself and a little bit more about himself, just in case you didn't hear it the first time.

And then _she_ shows up "Where's Sam?" The tiny brunette asks with a frown. "Who are those?" She insist, talking directly to his husband.

"This guys are the replacement to you dear Sam and Mike. He's Noah-"

"Wait. Did you change _my_ security without telling me, Brody?" She is tapping his right feet now and Weston's face turns deadly serious in half a second and, as fast as you blink, he takes her wife by the arm and drags her away from the bodyguards.

"Brody, it's my right..." She claims in a low voice, not looking so powerful and mad now.

Finn can see he's squeezing her arm a little bit too hard, and so does Puck. "We'll talk about it later, honey. Now go there and say hi..."

"I'm gonna need the arm for it, honey." She interrupts with a big, fake and flirty smile.

"You're gonna go and greet our new security, Rachel. Behave." Then she makes this gesture, like she's gonna bite his nose, to what he gives a quick step back

"Fine." She says crossing her arms in her chest but still ignoring the both guys.

"So, this is my wife, Rachel, and she's now gonna choose one of you now to be her full-time bodyguard. Sam used to be-"

"Wait." Puck says with a confused look in his eyes "She's gonna choose _oneof us_?"

"Oh, didn't your hot boss tell you?" And then Weston explained quickly to them that with four people on the outside, he doesn't actually need people on the yard _all the time, _but he does need "...someone to keep an eye on Rachel. She tends to get her big nose where it doesn't belong." He whispers, staring at them seeking for confidentiality "So, I'm gonna need someone to be with her, to protect her and... you know-"

"Let's get this over with." She joins in, pretending she didn't hear what Weston just said.

Now, Rachel Berry, how could he describe his first impression of _the_ Rachel Berry? He knew her, of course, she was born and raised in Lima, Ohio, just like he was; with the _little_ difference that she was famous and her face was all over the place and he was, well, her husband's bodyguard. Anyways, Lima doesn't have that many successful people out there, so Rachel was well known by everyone back there like some kind of hero.

The first thing that came to his mind about her is that she's the kind of woman who just lays her hand in yours and waits for you to kiss it. Sometimes you don't know what to do so she does that thing with her eyes, and you know you are gonna do it, you bow down and kiss her hand, and then, just then, she proceeds to say her name.

Rachel Berry is the colour red.

Rachel Berry is kind a woman that, when you look at her, a song starts playing in your head.

(Nude by Radiohead)

She stands in front of him now and he kisses her hand softly. "I want him" He hears her say raising her eyebrow. And _damn,_ he knows it then; he always knew. He tries to deny it, but he feels it in her burning, secretive eyes, he feels in his fingers, that are still in contact with hers, he feels in the way they are still with the eyes on each other:

_This_

woman

is

**trouble.  
**

* * *

**Please review! **Like, _pleasee_


	2. Words

**Well, i thougth this would be easier, honestly, but this transistion chapters never go easy for me :(. Chapters 2 are always a bitch! lol idk why.**  
**Thanks for all the follows and the reviews!**  
**This fic is giving me troubles! or maybe i'm reading way to much drabbles and i'm adopting that writing style and now i can't get anything right, i'm sorry! **

**i really hope you enjoy it though :/ and remember i don't speak english so yeah ;) grammar correction would be apreciated :B**

* * *

_"Those who are heartless, once cared too much."_ Frank Ocean

That's his favourite quote.

* * *

_"You know what word I'd use to describe you?" The blonde girl asks, while staring him as he eats his breakfast._

Without rising his gaze, he answers "No."

"Numb." And they keep eating, like nothing happened.

He doesn't think about it that much. It doesn't sound like a bad word to him: "Numb".

He wakes up in a cold sweat and sobs that night, like when something iskeeping you from breathing. He fights against the darkness until he finally finds the switch to turn up the lights and make the ghosts go away.  
_  
_It didn't sound like a bad word to him before, but now, so many years later, only the distant thought of it, the fucking _dream_ of the moment she said it makes him wanna puke.

* * *

Rachel appears in the front door, dressed up in in skinny jeans, a leather jacket and sunglasses and he hears a song in his head again.

(_"This song stuff needs to stop"_ he thinks every time. But it never does.)

"Take me to this restaurant." She says handing him a piece of paper with an address on it.

The last days had been weird around this girl. There's something about her that he just can't figure out. Everything she says is an order, he noticed, even when it's not. And, at the begging, that pissed him off... But, after a few days, he understood the game.

He doesn't know why, but she is doing something to him, she plays with him every time she has the chance. She's a teaser, he thinks sometimes, but he's not quite sure. He's not quite sure about anything concerning her, except for one thing: he'll not be intimidated by her. He had decided it a few days ago, when she went to the pool and started to swim topless.

She doesn't talk to him that much, and when she does it, its to give him an order o to make him feel uncomfortable. But it's fine by him, he'd had weird clients before, and he knows how to deal with them.

Or that's what he thought.

So he makes a polite gesture, takes the address, and opens the car door for her.

She walks slowly towards the car and, when she's very close, she whispers "Thank you, Finn." To what he freezes.

See? uncomfortable.

They both get in the car and leave. The trip is silent. She seems to be in her own world and he's on alert mode. He doesn't want to be catch under guard again.

"I'll be here when you come out." He says when they get to the fancy Italian restaurant.

"No, you're coming with me." She says in that Marine tone.

"I'll wait for you here, Mrs. Weston" He answers. That was a mistake

She walks close and, for the first time in all day, she makes strong eye contact "Don't call me that. Ever again. You call me Rachel or Miss Berry, are we clear?" He tries really hard not to feel intimidated, but boy, that woman is powerful

"It doesn't matter how I call you, I can't go in there with you." He replies seriously, he can't loose this time.

"I'm not waiting for anyone, I come here when I'm too lazy to cook and I'm not gonna have lunch alone."

"There's-"

"Sam used to have lunch with me."

"My name is Finn Hudson, Ma'am"

"He used to have lunch with me, and you're gonna do it too. It's an-"

"I only take orders from my boss, Miss Berry, so enjoy your meal." That said, he turn his back at her and lays his left hand in the car door to open it.

And then he feels it. Her tiny hand against his, and not only her hand, her whole body is being slightly pushed against his. He feels her get on the tip of her toes to reach his ear. He freezes again.

"Mr. Hudson, you're gonna go in there with me."

And he does.

* * *

The minute he lays a foot on that restaurant, he regrets it. So fancy, filled up with fancy people, fancy ornaments and boring music. Fucking hell.

"May I take your order?" The ginger waitress say

"The same as always" She answers, eyes stuck on her phone without even bothering to look at the woman.

"Okay, and you, Mister?" The ginger says, turning to him.

"A bottle of water and some ice, please." He answers, politely.

"Bring him the same as me. Thank you." Rachel says, still eyes stuck on the phone.

"No, some water will be fine." He argues

Rachel rises her gaze now, and stares at the waitress with a sarcastic smile on her lips "Bring us the pasta. No wine. Thank you, _dear._" And there was nothing else to say.

Suddenly, it became clear why Mike and Sam had leaved the job. This woman makes you want to run the fuck away and never look back. Or at least you would say she does that to _regular_ people, not to him, though: He feels different about her. He's, since day one, a little bit fascinated by her, by the easy way she can make him go blank. And it's not even in a sexual way, although the woman is not ugly and she's a Broadway star, his interest goes deeper than that. There's a secret in this woman's eyes, and he'd like to know what it is.

Then he remembers that quote about those who are heartless.

And he know he once cared _too much_, and he knows about what. But Rachel? She doesn't seem the kind of girl who care too much about anything at all.

The order arrives surprisingly fast, and he can't lie, it looks great and he's really hungry.

Something inside him wants to fit in, so he takes the fork and tries to eat slowly, like a gentleman would. Like Weston would.

"There's more of you than meets the eye." She says, staring at him.

(He hears "Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd, somewhere in his head)

"Maybe." He answers, avoiding her gaze like a champ.

"I know you play the drums. You've got the marks on your hands."

"I do?" He takes a sip of water, very calmly.

"And you tap your fingers when you think no one is watching. _So_ unprofessional" She smiles to herself.

There's silence then and he hopes she'll stay quite now, that she'll stop all that _status_ game because, honestly, the _"__I'm superior"_ air that she and her husband have was making him sick. He had faced the _world_, he thinks, and he had been in hell and back again. There's cruelty every were, there's war and hunger, there's death and pain.

But yeah, in the middle of everything, let us eat in a fancy Italian restaurant.

"And I know you've been in jail." He doesn't choke in his food, as you might think, because he was kinda waiting for that one.

"You've done your homework, I see."

"You're kinda hard to read."

_"__Look who's talking"_

"And I like to know the people who work for me."

"So, you're gonna fire me?" He asks, never losing his coolness. She smiles.

"No." She answers, taking a sip of water. "You're too interesting."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Maybe."

They finish they meal in silence and then she asks for some dessert. "The same as always" She repeats, and the waitress comes back in no time with two slices of chocolate cake (That's totally not what he thought that a woman like Rachel would have for dessert.).

"Listen..." She starts, in a very serious tone. He stops eating and pays attention "Brody..." But she stops herself. This is the first time he hears doubt and insecurity in her voice.

"What?"

"He asked you to _keep and eye_ one me, didn't he?" Suddenly he remembers all the talk he had with Satan and Sam, that mistery about the _noises_ inside of the house. Rachel Berry had the same look in her eyes now "I know he did, he always does."

"Why do you ask?" And he eats a bit of cake, pretending he's not that interested in this conversation.

"I need to make a deal with you." She says and, instantly, the things go weird. She takes out of her purse nothing more and nothing less than a checkbook. "I'll pay you well for it." And she drops it on the table, in front of him.

"For what?"

"Your services."

"I'm already getting paid, Ma'am"

"No, listen. I need you on _my_ side." She says "And I'm willing to pay for it. Brody can't know everything that goes on with me, and you can't tell him _anything_ that I say to you." She sounds scared now. He's not liking this.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand."

She takes a deep breath and goes back to her regular self faster than you'd imagine "I need your silence." She snaps. "He has hired people to spy on me before, and shit just gets worse."

He feels the need to ask her what is it that gets worse, but he rememebers that he's _just_ the bodyguard, and he's not aloud to ask, so, instead, he just says "You have my silence, then." And she smiles. A true smile this time, not ironic, not weird; just a pure and simple smile.

And they don't talk anymore.

* * *

Than night he has the same nightmare again, three times in a row.

God, how he hates that damn word.

* * *

He and Puck arrive at the Weston's house at the same time as always, and, an hour later he sees the man leaving the house to go to work, as usual.

"Take me to this address." He hears the voice coming from behind.

He turns back to were the voice came from and he sees her... And he sees _it_. And he doesn't know what to say.

Rachel's standing there, holding a piece of paper with an address on it in his hand, and with a giant bruise on her right cheek.

"Is everything okay, Miss Berry?" He asks, trying hard to hide his concern.

She, that was staring at the floor before, rises her dead eyes to meet his gaze. Something about her this morning is just not_ right_, he can feel it in his bones.

"Oh." She says in a very ironic tone "Haven't you been told?"

"About what?" He answers quickly.

"I am _very_ clumsy, Finn." She continues, now with some kind of smile on her face; the most frightening smile he had ever seen "I trip and fall on my face a _lot_." And with that said, she puts her sunglasses on and walks towards the car, leaving him there with a strange feeling on his chest.

He knows then that he shouldn't have asked.

* * *

**So, what do you think?**  
**Rememeber that the best part of writing a fanfic are the reviews! :D i giggle like a little girl on thursday when i get them.**

**ps: this will get better, i promise.**  
**Oh, and the rating will go up to M ;)**


	3. Rage

**Hi :) here's the update! it took me a while to write it because there's a little bit to much going on here. But i kinda like the way it came up!**  
**thanksfor your reviews! i love reviews with my life and you make my day with them 3**  
**and thank for the follow/favs too ;)**  
**Enjoy!**

* * *

That's the feeling that comes from his insides right now.

Pure

and

increasing

_Rage._

His heart is beating fast and he's kinda dizzy, but he keeps on walking,_ nothing_ can stop him. He feels like a damn black bull that's being teased while people watch, and, with everys ingle step of the way, his tension only gets worse.

He gets in the elevator, breathing hardly through his nose. Once he's in there, he squeezes his fists and people look at him in fear, because his eyes are on fire, and they know Finn Hudson, he's always calm, numb and quite. But this is different.

So nobody dares to make eye contact with him.

He gets out of the elevator and makes his way to the red door he knows so well. He doesn't knock, he just opens it. There she is, talking on the phone like nothing happened. This only makes him more angry if that's even possible.

He realizes then that he didn't think of anything to say in the way, so he just stays there, ready to kick the fuck out of something.

She meets his eyes and she just knows what's coming.

_"Holy shit."_ She mumbles "Oh, no, I'm sorry Mrs. Lane, I... I just dropped my coffee and it was _really_ hot. I'll call you later..." She says, covering her face with her free hand "Okay, Good Bye."

"You better have a good explanation, Santana." And he slowly walks towars her, pointing his finger in her direction "You _better_ have a _great_ explanation to all this shit."

But she only says "I don't."

Then there's a heavy silence and he sees something in her that he'd never seen before. Something between sadness and fear. I mean, she's not even looking at him, she's playing with her wedding ring!

This is definitely new stuff. But he doesn't give a shit if she's sad or happy or whatever, he wants, he _needs_, answers.

"I can't believe you set me up like this." He starts

"I know..."

That only causes his anger level to rise "What the fuck, Santana? look at me and tell me what's going on! Don't play victim and talk to me!"

She stands up and slowly walks to the door to close it, because people outside was starting to notice something wrong.

Once the door is closed, she walks back to her desk and takes her seat again. Finn doesn't know what the hell is going with this woman, but once again, he doesn't care. "Why did you hide this from me? Why did you and Sam treat _me_ and Puck like _fucking_ idiots?! Didn't you think I'd notice at some point?!" He asks, almost screaming "Santana-"

"I didn't tell you because-" But she stops herself "Because-" And he watches her covering her face with both hands.

"Why?, why?, WHY?!"

"Because-"

And the silence again.

He tries to calm down a little, and even takes a seat, trying to erase from his memory all of the things he found out that morning, all of the noises he heard. The fact that he had to run away from his work place because he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He tried again, much more calm this time.

"I couldn't."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't be working there if I'd have told you."

"Damn right I wouldn't." He snaps "Did you do the same thing to Sam and Mike?" But she doesn't answer. "What are we gonna do about this?... And by that I mean: what are _you_ gonna do about this?"

"I don't know, Frankenteen. I really don't know."

He is gonna say that he doesn't wanna work there anymore, that he's not gonna play this game, that he wants to leave and never come back to that house ever again; but that's not entirely true. And then he doesn't want to, but he thinks about her, and, fighting against himself, he tries and tries to erase her words and her teasing from his mind but he can't. He fails. And this makes him more angry, he hates himself more because he really wants to quit this job but when _she_ comes to his mind and all he can say is nothing, and all he can do is more nothing, and everything becomes silence again.

And, at that point of the conversation he realizes that he's pretty much screwed, and all he can think is _"Shit" _Because, why would he come to fight about this if he doesn't even want to quit? What was the point then?

"Why are you not threatening me with quitting?" Santana asks, dragging him away from his thoughts.

He stares at her for a few seconds "Because I'm not quitting."

"What about Puck?"

"He wants to, but I can convince him to stay."

"That's good news." She breathes. "I knew you'd stay."

"I'm not staying because of you, _Satan._" And with that, he stands up

"I know. It's becausee of _her._" Santana says with a little glimpse in her eye that Finn doesn't like at all "The same thing happened to Sam and Mike Especially Sam. They all want to _protect_ her. But the day will come when you'll feel as powerless as they did, and you'll come back here with your _'Good bye' _letter." She continues in some sort of sad tone "I know her... Rachel. We're friends."

"You are?"

"Yes. Or we were until I talked to her about this whole thing."

"Why is she-"

"Still with him?" He just nods "I don't know, but _that_ shit is not love."

* * *

Sometimes she sits in bed in the morning, naked, and stares at her own body in the mirror. She doesn't cry at the sight of it, at least not anymore, but she asks herself one and over again how did she get to _this _point. She's afraid of the answer, though, so she just skips to the next one:

_"Is it worth it?"._

And, sadly, the answer is always _"YES"_

Or at least it used to be. Today it doesn't feel like it anymore. Today was awful. Today she even _dares_ to asks herself one more question:

_"What if it __**isn't**__?"_

But then again, the answer is too scary, so she walks to the bathroom, fills the bathtub, lights up a cigarette, puts on some good music and just stays there, in the water, until her fingers and toes shrivel. She hates when that happens, but today, _speacially_ today, she doesn't give a single fuck.

While smoking her second cigar, she thinks about the day she met Brody... And she curses it. She hates that day with every breath of her mouth, every hair in her head and with every cell on her bruised body. Because yes, Weston had give her everything she wanted in her career and, honestly, if it wasn't for him she'd still be the cheap whore who was almost crawling in the floor for roles like "Tree #3" in some lame ass Broadway play; But damn, she keeps asking herself _every morning _that stupid question: _"Rachel Berry, is this worth it?"_

_"__**Is it?!**__"_

_Some_ days it just isn't.

But the stage, oh God, the stage is the thing she loves more than her own life! Because when she's up there, and the play is over and the crowd stays silent for the most _exquisite_ and _infinite _second, when she counts to her self _"Three, two, one..."_ and she finds herself wrapped in the arms of the best sound in the whole world: _the ovation_. Is _that_ moment, when the energy hits her, when the tears in the eyes of _her _public and the eternal clapping it's at her peak... That's when she thinks "Yes." and then again: "YES!"

_Everything_ is worth it, because Rachel Berry will not, and read carefully, she will _not _give up the stages_. _Not now, not _ever._

Well, it's not like she has _that_ much of a choice, really; Guys like Weston never do anything for free and, in this case, the cost is high. The cost of fame is _everything._ The cost is her.

Brody found her in the most awful misery and, somehow, became _obsessed_ with her. She never understood why, honestly, and she couldn't care less. She got the lead in "Spring Awakening" without even auditioning, and that's all that mattered to her.

But the price is her, remember?. And she plays her role just fine. The role of the mistress, the wife that cooks, smiles and fucks whenever _he_ wants her to. The wife that says "I love you" like a robot, waxes every day and scream his name when penetrated. She agrees to that, because of the stages, she agrees to a life with out love, without orgasms and without will, just because of the stages.

She convices herself that she agreed, that this is what happens when you sell your soul to the devil in exchange of your dreams. But yes, the first time he hit her, she must admit that she cried. As well as she must admit that she cried the second time and the third and even more the fourth, when he broke a plate in her back.

She cried in the shower, while the music was loud, in the car, while driving away, and in her mind. But never in front if him.

She's been married to him for a year or so, so she doesn't cry anymore. Now she smiles. He hits her, she smiles. It's just another game.

He snaps her in the face, she licks the blood off of her lip, he gets turned on and fucks her in the kitchen table. That's how it works in Rachel Berry's life.

She once threatened him to leave him, in case you were wondering. And he told her he would ruin her career forever and that, after that, he'd go find her to kill her because he loves her _so much._

He locked her up in her room a whole day after that, but those are just details.

And she can't lie now. She's _so_ tired. She's so, so tired that not even the thought of the stages seem to work now. She wants to give up, to explode and to die. Yes, sometimes she considers death, and that freaks her out. She had gone through _hard_ stuff before and even then, even at the worst shit, death was _never_ an option. But she had consider it a few weeks ago, she can remember it clearly: Brody pointing the gun at her face and screaming at the top of his lungs that he'd kill her because he was sure that she had some _fuckery_ going on with Sam, the bodyguard.

He didn't kill her. He couldn't. He loves her, you know? And he'd _never_ do that to her.

And Sam, her friend, the only one she thought she could trust, comes to her the next day to notice her that he and Mike would quit.

She took the gun in her hands that night and actually thought about it for about half an hour before putting it down.

The next morning, she met her new security service. She met _him_. And now she's not sure about anything anymore.

And there, still smoking in the bathtub, she thinks about the subtle look in Finn's face _this_ morning, when Brody decided to make a scandal about some random stuff just because of the fun of hitting her after a few weeks of peace (sort of). Brody left after that, and she walked to the window to _watch _the motherfucker leave. But there she found somethins else: _Finn_. He was staring straight into her eyes. His eyes showed no pity nor judgment. They showed anger... and kindness, a mixture she had never seen before. And then he leaves the house, leaving a trace of rage and fire behind him.

She ends up her third cigarette and notices that she's smiling. She had the most awful morning, but she's smiling. And, even though she's quite sure he went to the office to quit the job, something inside of her tells her that he'll come back. She wants the tall and silent bodyguard to come back. There's just something about him that makes her interested.

Maybe a little bit _more_ that interested.

* * *

**oh, i wanted to continue this so much! but i guess i'll save the rest for the following chapters :)  
so yeah, there you have some rachel POV and now you know what's going on, even though some of you had already figured it out.**

pleaaaase revieeeeew 3

ps: i have nothing against Brody, actually, i even used him as a pretty nice guy in my first fanfic. I just needed someone to play Rachel's mean husband and making someone up when there are so many characters in Glee just seemed stupid to me. I was about to use Puck, but i like him too much so no lol Brody fitted perfcetly, so yeah :)


	4. Wrong

**So, I wrote this thing and i don't even know why, but it came up very damn long, lol.**  
**This chapter is like a fucking roaller coaster, you've been warned.**

* * *

_"__What are you doing?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"You promised"_

_"I know"_

_"Then what are you doing, Finn?"_

_"Nothing, Quinn, nothing, I swear-"_

_"You swore before, and you lied!"_

_"I didn't, I'm not... It's nothing!"_

_"You told me you'd never love anyone ever again, you promised, you swore you'd never-"_

_"I know, I know what I said. I'm not gonna break the promise."_

_"Don't lie to me, Finn Hudson!"_

_"I'm not lying to you, I am not!"_

_"Don't lie to me."_

_"I'm not, I promised... I..."_

_"You promised."_

_"I promised."_

"What?"

_"__I promised, I'm... I'm so sorry, babe."_

"For what?, Dude, stop it!"

_"__Quinn..."_

"Quinn? oh God, no. Dude, wake up. Finn, **wake up!**"

And he does. He wakes up screaming, in cold sweats and tears... _again_. This is getting out of hand and sleeping at Puck's didn't work at all.

"What the fuck, man? When you told me you were having trouble with your sleep I never thought I'll have to deal with a talking zombie in my guest room!" Puck says with a worried voice.

Finn doesn't say anything. He's so ashamed and he doesn't know what to do anymore. Those nightmares keep hunting him and, lately, he can't seem to get Quinn out of his head.

She used to be a good memory, you know, like the kind of thought that makes you smile, because she was so fresh, shiny and angelical that you just can't help to remember her with joy.

But he's not thinking about her that way anymore. She comes to haunt him every night, claiming things. And he knows, he knows that's not her, that's not the way she used to be, she was never angry, she was the sunshine and the laughs, she'd never say that kind of things.

"Talk to me, man. What's going on? What's with Quinn?" Hearing her name in someone else's mouth just makes his heart ache even more, it makes her more real, and more dead.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Just a nightmare I've been having, no big deal." He says walking to the bathroom. Puck follows him.

"Don't give me that bullshit. Talk to me, why don't you talk to me anymore?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Puck, don't be such a girl."

"Are you kidding me right now, man?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" He says as he presses some cold water against his face.

"Why are you here then? Why did you come to my flat to ask me for a bed when you have your own? Some shit is wrong with that head of yours and you need to talk about it"

"It's nothing!" He screams, and his voice sound like a damn bomb. It's like 4:15 am, after all. "If you want me to leave, I'll leave If it bothers you so much. I just wanted to know if it could get better here but if it's such a pain in the ass for you I'll be out of here in no time" And he angrily walks past Puck and goes straight to the bedroom he was sleeping in. Again, Puck follows.

"I love you, man." Puck says from the door, when he spots Finn sitting on the edge of the bed with both hand on his face, "And you can count on me even if that means I'll have to deal with your screaming stuff. You're my bro and I'll be here. But it's fucked up that you're keeping your shit inside, dude. I'm not the most emotional dude on earth but even _I_ know that."

"Puck..."

"Just think about it. Quinn should not be a nightmare anymore, Finn! and she's coming back at you because there's something _else_ bugging you. Just... just think about it." Puck says wisely. Finn stays in that silent state that people get when they're being yelled at my their mom. "Fine. I'll be in my room anyways. Try'get some sleep, man, you look awful." He teases, Finn smiles a little. "'Night" And he leaves.

He doesn't sleep at all.

* * *

That day, they feel noises inside of the house again. It had been a while since the last time and they still don't get used to it. They never will.

"This is so wrong, man. I feel like I'm gonna puke." Puck says, angrily. Finn nods his head, not being able to speak. "We have to do something, like, seriously _do_ something, man. This is not okay, I was not raised like this, for fuck's sake!."

* * *

"Come here, come here, Rachel!" Brody screams through the firs floor bathroom door, where she's locked.

_"__Love, love me do, you know I love you, I'll always be true, So please love me do!"_ She sings teasingly inside of the bathroom. "Sing with me, dear, I know you know the lyrics!" She screams and jumps a little at the sound of him kicking the door

"Don't _fuck _around with me!"

"You don't like that one? Then, how about something that suits you better? How about this one? _'I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no I won't-'_"

"Shut the fuck up! Open the door!, Open the damn door, Rachel!" He screams while he kicks it strongly with his feet. She know he's gonna break it, it wouldn't be the first time he breaks a door when they're fighting, but somehow, she gains a little bit of time to prepare herself.

The truth is, she's fucking scared, she's breathing hardly and she's dizzy. She tells herself everyday that she's used to this, that this is not big deal, she has to learn how to deal with this, but it's still scary as hell... and it only gets worse with time.

She remembers the gun and she feels chills.

God, she hates when he skips his job to stay home for the day.

"I'm gonna break this fucking door and you'll see..." He whispers through one of the sides of it

"I'm waiting anxiously, babe." She says calmly, but her hands are sweating and her heart is about to pop out of her chest, and not in the good way.

"You started it this time and you fucking know it!"

"Oh my God!, You're right! I'll never mention your_little problem_ again in my life. I'll just ignore it." And she laughs strongly. If she was already in trouble, now she's gonna get killed.

The thought of it calm her down, somehow. Everything's gonna be over in a while.

And the she freak out again, what if he kills her this time?

"Oh keep going, just keep going! You're making it even _more_ fun!" He screams as he beats up the hell our of the door.

"I'm waiting for you with my legs open, dear." She wats to stop doing that, but somehow, talking all that shit makes her feel like she's in control of the situation, like she has, somehow, the power over him. She doesn't, of course, but it's better than crying in a corner like in that movie.

She thinks about that movie now, _"__The shining"_, when Jack goes nuts with that axe and breaks the bathroom door to kill his wife and she's inside, freaking out and crying. She looks so scared, Rachel thinks, so pale and vulnerable. She doesn't wanna look like that. No.

But yeah, there's a difference between the two scenes. The woman in the movie was freaking out because her husband was _possessed_ by some weird _air_ in that hotel where people got murdered a long time ago. So, her husband is not a bad guy, he's just out of himself. Brody is just being a capital asshole. He's just evil.

He's about to open it and she knows what's coming for her. _Nothing_ can stop this.

_"__Don't cry. Don't fucking cry."_ She whispers to herself as she hears the kicks on the door getting louder and the sound of the it cracking up a little _"__Be strong. It'll go away. Be strong. It'll go away."_ She repeats in her mind, like that's gonna save her.

"Rachel!" Brody screams.

_"__Please God... God?, am I turning to God?"_ The door cracks a little bit more _"__Holy damn, please God take me away from here. Make it stop. Make it stop!"_

Before the door opens, she takes a nail file, sits in the closed toilet and starts to act calm, like nothing's happening. She's ready.

The door burst open. Holy shit she's not ready.

"There you are" He whispers. He's sweating and he's angry like a damn bull.

"Here I am. Let's get this over with-" And before she can finish the sentence, he snaps her in the face so hard that she ends up in the floor.

Her heart races and there's blood in her lower lip. She's not in the mood to tease him anymore. She just wants to go home to her dads. What would they think if they saw her like that? They sent her to New York to find her dreams, they waved proudly when she left on that plane with all of their savings of a lifetime. What would they think right now?

_"__They would be disgusted"_ she thinks in the fraction of a second _"__Oh God, I'm so sorry dads. I'm so sorry..."_

She feels Brody's slow steps walking towards her, but she's not afraid anymore. "Sing now, you pretty girl, SING TO ME NOW!" He screams, grabbing her hair "You are gonna _respect_ me, Rachel." He whispers to her ear "You owe me obedience"

"Whatever." She answers in a very neutral tone.

And then, just when she knows things are about to get worse, they don't. She hears a voice coming from the kitchen door.

Suddenly it becomes more clear, it's Noah's voice "Mr. Weston, we have a situation!"

"What the fuck?" Brody whipers, letting go of her hair "I'm busy right now, deal with it, for fuck's sake!"

"It's the car! The gray car from the last time you got threats."

Brody's face changes so fast that Rachel even feels like laughing. He gets pale at the single thought of that time he got dead threats from some weird organization a few months ago. She doesn't know what he's dealing with, though, and she doesn't want to, anyways. All she cares about is that her face and her head hurts like hell, and Brody's attention is somewhere else. Maybe God exists after all, she thinks.

"W-What? They are here? In the neighborhood?, How?" He says as he walks away from the bathroom, like she doesn't even exist.

And there, when she's lonely, crawling in the cold white floor, she feels the angst of the whole situation. And she cries. She covers her face with both hands and cries her eyes out, because she knows that this is just a brief hiatus... that he's gonna come back for more, and this time she's not even close to ready. She's terrified.

But they say that thing happen when you least expect them to, and she confirms it then, when the weirdest thing in the world happens.

_"__Miss Berry!"_ She hears from somewhere. _"__Miss Berry!"_ It's Finn's voice, coming from the outside of the window.

"Finn?" She asks with a broken voice "I don't need your pity. Go away" She says, crawling in the floor once again.

"Come out from the front door and get in the car. Quickly!" He whispers nervously.

"What?"

"Just do it!"

"Oh. Okay." And she doesn't even understand anything, she doesn't know why but she obeys. She stops crying and gets on her feet.

She walks slowly out of the bathroom, feeling the adrenaline running through her veins. What is she even doing? She doesn't know, but she likes it.

The car is, in fact, near the front door. So she gets in as fast as she can. There's Finn, waiting for her, but before she can even think about it, the car is moving fast towards the gate, wich is, by some weird magic, already open.

"What are we doing?" She asks, but he doesn't answer, and something tells her that he doesn't know either. Suddenly, she remembers the pain in her face again. Her eyes are swollen, her face is wet and her cheek is burning. "Jesus, this dude really doesn't understand the concept of _'Not the face'_" She whispers to herself while she looks at the mess she is at the moment in the car mirror. "What would my fathers think if they saw me like this?" She mumbles "I'm a freaking mess. They'd puke over the sight of me" And a tear rolls down her cheek while she sights "Why are you even doing this? It's not worth it."

"Of course it is." Finn answers quickly

"Thanks." She says, and they stay silent for a while.

She was not paying attention to their direction, so she doesn't quite know where they are when he parks the car. She only sees a few giant empty houses with green front yards, but it's like a gohst town, she thinks, because no one is around.

She sees Finn getting a medium size white box from the back seat and then, when he opens it, she notices it's full of first aids stuff. "Come, let me see that." He says coldly, taking some alcohol and tissues. She look at him in awe, because she can't believe that she's here, in the middle of God knows where, being cured by her bodyguard.

* * *

He doesn't know how he got there either, though. One minute he's hearing Puck's plan to get Rachel out of there, the next he's hearing her cry from outside of the bathroom and the next they are here, in some fancy ass abandoned neighborhood, running away from her angry husband.

He doesn't know what the next step is, to be honest, he just wanted to save her. Not like he cares about her in some _special_ level, no, it's just his job and stuff.

He tries to act calm, but his hands are shaking, he's so angry. He know she notices his concern and somehow he thinks she likes seeing him like this because she says nothing.

He takes a deep breath and takes the first aids kit he brought and, trying to seem professional, he asks her to let him see the wound. She silently agrees, so he pulls her face closer with his left hand and takes a closer look at her lip. The wound it's not that big and the blood is already dry, but it's a wound after all, and it was made by an angry husband, and that pisses him off to no end.

He pours some alcohol in a tissue and proceeds to rub it in her lip. She jumps a little and closes her eyes because of the pain.

"I'm sorry" He mumbles "I just-"

"It's okay. It's not your fault." She answers softly

He doesn't know what's the right thing to say right now, so he just goes with the first thing that comes to his mind, that happens to be "You don't deserve this."

"You don't know that." She snaps "Maybe I do." And she licks her lower lip teasingly.

He takes a look at her eyes and, just then, notices the small distance between them. The fact that his heart is not racing because of the rage, but because of _her_ is freaking him out.

In that moment, when he's so close to her, when he can closely admire how beautiful she is, how soft her skin looks, he can't help but wonder how is that someone like her ends up with someone as disgusting as Brody. He wants to ask her, right there, and get it out of his chest. But he doesn't, because bodyguards don't ask that kind of thing.

"No, you don't." He continues, as he focuses in cleaning her blood again "Of course you don't."

"Do you wanna know why am I still with him?" She says, and he feels naked all of the sudden, like she's reading his mind somehow "I know you do." He says nothing. "He gives me my dream and I suck his dick. That's the deal." That was not what he was hoping to hear. It was anything but that.

"That's not my business." He answers, coldly, cleaning the last traces of blood of her chin.

_"__Kiss me."_ She mumbles, but he doesn't give credit to his ears. "Finn. Kiss me." She repeats.

But he doesn't. He _can't._

He realizes then that she did it again, damn it, she managed to get him off guard and to pull him back into this sick teasing game. Why is he so weak? Why does he even feel like _wants_ to kiss the fuck out of her?

"I can't." He whispers, staring deep into her eyes

She gets a little closer to him, and he doesn't know what to do, so he does nothing. His body is not answering and his brain feels like it's being electrocuted. "I know you want to." She says, touching his nose with hers.

"I don't."

"You're lying."

"Maybe."

And, in the fraction of a second, their lips collapse for the first time.

He thinks then, that some moments in your life you can't be described with words. That some moments are full with a thousand bombs exploding inside of your chest, and there, he thinks that Rachel Berry's lips are just beyond words.

He doesn't know how they got here, but he's not complaining. When he feels her lips pressed against his, everything else just seems like a bad memory. And then her lips part and their tongues meet, and he tastes a little bit of blood, but he doesn't care, because he knows he's not shaking because of rage this time. He knows his heart is racing like this because of something else. Rachel.

For a second or two, inside of the kiss, he feels like everything is falling into place fro the first time in years. When her right hand reaches his neck and his hand softly caresses her bruises, he just feel it. Peace.

But it's wrong. It's _so wrong_. He can't. What's he even doing? He's the damn _bodyguard_ and nothing more than that. **Nothing**.

So he pulls apart from her as fast as his will alouds him, cursing his weakness "Miss Berry-"

"Mr. Hudson. Take me somewhere" She interrupts with a smile.

And, _fuck,_ she's smiling. An award winning smile. An world-stopping smile. Rachel Berry is smiling again and he knows he can't deny her anything.

Then a song appears on his head again, clear as water

_"__You're the one that I wanted to find_

_And anyone who tried to deny you_

_Must be out of their mind"_

"W-where?" He asks sheepishly, trying to silence the song. He clears his throat and, finally, decides to go back to working mode "I mean, Where do you want me to take you?"

"I don't know! I just want to do something. Lets do something!" She says brightly, like there's no bruises on her face, like they didn't just kiss. "I can't believe I ran away from Brody. I can't believe you saved me!"

"It was Puckerman's idea, to be honest." He snaps back, seriously

"I don't care. Take me away." She continues, still smiling. "Take me to Broadway, lets go watch something!"

"_And anyone who tried to deny you_

_Must be out of their mind"_

"I don't have any money for tickets, ma'am" He answers

"Come on! I'm Rachel Berry, They'll let me in." She snaps back

"_Say no, say no"_

"Finn?"

"Uh?"

"What do you say?"

"Uh... I-"

"Oh." She mumbles. He looks at her and there she is _again_. Terrified and dark Rachel. "You know. I'm gonna have to go back eventually and he's gonna be there." What did he just do? Why isn't she smiling anymore? "So it doesn't matter anyways. Just take me back." She says, looking out the window. "Let's go back, Finn. I'll talk to him and he's not gonna fire you. So just... yeah." And she says nothing more.

He doesn't know why and he doesn't actually care but in this moment, in this particular second, nothing in the _world _seems more important than making Rachel smile again. And it sounds cheesy to him, but the truth is that that smile made him forget about the nightmares. So fuck it, even if the world falls apart, he's must do something. Everything else is irrelevant.

So, with all the confidence in the world, he just says "I know a better place."

* * *

**Reviews are the best part of writing a fanfic, people ;)**  
**I'm sorry for the angst, though.**  
**ps: it's a long chapter and i just finished it, so forgive me if it has a few spelling mistakes :c  
ps 2: The song is "Green Eyes" by Coldplay. just in case. (amazing song, btw)  
**


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